I’ve been told that I’m hard to read, perhaps because I don’t like to smile. I don’t open up to people immediately. I’ve been described in many different ways. But for those who really know me, there’s one thing they would be certainly aware of; I am a die-hard Christina Aguilera fan.

I was 13 when I first heard Christina Aguilera’s ‘Genie in a Bottle.’ Since then, I have been a devoted fan. Her undeniable talent, her charm, and the way she handles adversity, all drew me in and made me love her obsessively. When she was incessantly compared to her contemporary, Britney Spears, I would go to war for her. I have since then matured and have learned to pick my battles. I have to admit though, Christina Aguilera is not the most likable person. She makes it difficult for people to like her. She’s offensive. She’s raunchy. Her sense of style has been the subject of negative discussions. Her taste has always been questioned. But for some reason, loving her was effortless to me. She is often criticized, but I only have deep love and admiration for her. I do love strong, powerful women.

Christina’s musical genius is the stuff legends are made of. I could listen to her for days on end, and never get tired. She even got me listening to her influences, artists ahead of my time that I wouldn’t have known about if it weren’t for her. And it’s quite an impressive list; Etta James, Otis Redding, Ray Charles, Madonna, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Etta James,Aretha Franklin, Whitney Houston, and Mariah Carey. No wonder she turned out to be a true vocalist.

Her teenybopper persona was one I also immensely cherished. I learned all the lyrics to her debut album, of course. I immediately related to her introverted personality, and I understood what she was all about. As a grown adult woman, she decided to put her hands on the wheel and call the shots. Stripping down this inauthentic virginal identity invited controversy, sure, but it also brought along important conversations about a woman owning her sexuality, and having agency over her sexual expression. She endured so much misogynistic shit during this time, our society should be embarrassed. She’s doing it for herself, not for the male gaze, and I think that’s so powerful. I made an effort to be one of the first ones to get a copy of her sophomore album, ‘Stripped,’ of course. Although her music during that era featured slinky club grooves, and explicit content, she also had ballads and sang about her heartbreaks, and triumphs. Despite having a controversial image, critics always have a hard time attacking her talent. She is an artist, first and foremost. Her third and latest album, ‘Back to Basics,’ is so different from ‘Stripped,’ it gave me a whiplash. Continuing her genius, she released a record highlighting her powerful voice, and her amazing musicality, while remaining true to her message and her authentic self.

Tonight, I get to see her live, and in person! You can imagine how much I’m freaking out right now. I am so happy that she’s making a stop in Manila for her tour–we are more often overlooked by global superstars doing world tours such as herself. Christina Aguilera is a big part of the person I have become, and her music has not only saved me, it has become the soundtrack of my life. Oh my god. Is this real life? I might actually die tonight, I don’t know. If this is a dream, please never wake me up.