Before I met Ed, I could never have imagined becoming the hopeless romantic I am today. But then again, I had never been in a serious relationship before him, and I was the poster child for angst growing up. I always figured I’d turn into a stone-hearted cynic—someone who thrives on argument just to feel smarter than everyone else. And while I do know a lot of things, I’ve come to terms with the fact that there’s an even longer list of things I couldn’t care less about pretending to know.

The last couple of weeks have been quite the eye-opener for both Ed and me, to say the least. I wish I could spill more details, but I’m savvy enough to realize that the internet has a knack for turning personal stories into a soap opera. So, for the sake of obscurity, I apologize.

Over the past seven years, I’ve found myself practicing love like it’s a religion. I hope the people around me can vouch for how this little truth manifests in my everyday aura. Sometimes, I have to step back and take a panoramic view of myself because love has consumed me so completely. I guess I’m writing this to remind myself of a few things.

Don’t believe the folks who say relationships should be effortless—that’s simply not true. Many, myself included, think we understand the importance of working hard to keep a relationship intact. But when life throws its curveballs, running away feels like the easier option. Sure, run when you must, but do so with a heart full of contentment. Otherwise, fight for it. Fight for love until you’ve stripped yourself of pride.

Most relationships start as carefree novelties, bursting with new flames and happy-go-lucky feelings. But when love comes knocking, commit—there’s no other way. Never take the people you love for granted, no matter how cozy you feel with them.

Love shouldn’t be locked away in the cages of someone’s heart. It should be free, felt, and expressed. It should be real. It should be lived. I need constant reminders that relationships require effort and won’t flourish on their own. I also need to remember that nothing is permanent, no matter how much we want it to be. I get it; I believe it. Pulling these truths from my brain is as effortless as letting my hair grow. But living them? That’s where I sometimes trip up. The irony of unrealistic expectations is that we create far-fetched ideas in our heads, hoping they’ll magically unfold the way we want, all the while knowing they won’t. In relationships, you have to be willing to peel back layer after layer of yourself to realize that, at our core, we’re all just the same.

My relationship with Ed is the single most life-altering experience I’ve ever had, and I can honestly say I’m a better person because of it. It teaches me what to preserve in my life and what to let go. The tricky part of life lessons is that you don’t always recognize when they’re relevant. You learn them, you know them, you believe them, and then—oops—you forget them. It sounds silly, but I believe even the most enlightened among us occasionally wade through a swamp of ambivalence and hypocrisy. After all, to err is human.

To Ed, whom I know reads this silly little blog: I hope my actions speak louder than my words. I hope the happy days continue to outshine the cloudy ones. For everything else, I’ll fill you in when I get home. There’s no other way to say it—I love you, with all of me, always.