First of all, I’m slightly mortified that after years of radio silence on my blog, this is the first thing I’m compelled to write about. But here we are. I’m a full-blown pophead, and the VMAs (or, as I like to call it, The Miley Cyrus Show) have stirred up such a frenzy among traditionalists and hypocrites that I feel morally obligated to unleash my thoughts. Yes, I’m probably talking about you. And yes, we both have better things to do, but whatever. Cheap shots deserve cheap shots.

For the record, I’m not a fan of Miley Cyrus. Well, maybe I am now, but for most of her career, I couldn’t have cared less if you held a gun to my head. If you missed Miley’s VMA performance, do yourself a favor and Google it. If you can’t be bothered, let me break it down for you: the former Disney darling wore practically nothing, dry-humped giant teddy bears, touched herself in ways that would make a sailor blush, gyrated against Robin Thicke’s crotch, and spanked plenty of behinds—all while proudly showcasing her freakishly long tongue. Oh, and she may have inadvertently popularized the term “twerk,” so, props to her for that.

The performance predictably ignited a firestorm of reactions—mostly criticisms about how lewd and inappropriate Miley was. It’s so easy to clutch your pearls, roll your rosary beads, and judge this slutfest from your perch of moral superiority. But before you throw stones, I suggest you check your own glass house first. I’m not here to give Miley unwarranted credit for her actions, but I do welcome the dialogue they’ve sparked.

At first glance, this whole kerfuffle seems shocking because, hey, Miley is a former child star who now appears to have a grasp on her own sexuality. “Aaaack! Hannah Montana is popping her pussy on MTV!” This is the kind of nonsense that makes some people lose their minds. But when you dissect this free-for-all, it’s clear there’s more to it than people’s deluded notions of how one is supposed to grow up. This is just another case of society’s unfair double standards. A woman acting like a man? Unacceptable—she gets the scarlet letter. Miley’s suggestive antics could easily have been pulled off by a male artist, and no one would bat an eye. Seriously, think about it: if a guy did this, it wouldn’t even make the news. If anything about that performance is disturbing, it’s probably the lyrics to Robin Thicke’s rapey hit “Blurred Lines,” which subtly glorifies an insistent “yes” to a woman’s indifferent “no.” But that’s not what people are talking about. Why is it so hard for a woman to express her sexual autonomy? Regardless of whether it’s crass or classy, sexuality comes in many forms, and we don’t get to dictate who can express theirs. Why do most male artists get a free pass while Miley gets crucified?

Let’s talk about the role model argument—a total exercise in futility. The world is chock-full of bad role models. You can’t scrub the world clean of its ugliness to shield the innocent from reality. Ultimately, it’s up to parents to manage how their children process the world. Miley Cyrus didn’t invent promiscuity; sex and sexuality have been around since the dawn of time, believe it or not. Parents can’t control every external influence on their kids—shocking, right? Unless you want your child living a life of isolation, they will encounter examples, images, and situations that clash with the values you want to instill. If your kids grow up to be less than you hoped, you don’t get to shove the blame onto Miley Cyrus—simple as that.

You’re probably sensing the strength of my feelings on this topic. I guess my long-standing adoration for Christina Aguilera might have something to do with it. Christina, who actually lives her message, strutted onto the scene over a decade ago in ass-less chaps, shaking her booty to “Dirrty,” and unapologetically shoving her raw sexuality into the consciousness of millions. The backlash to her shedding her innocent image was utterly predictable: stone-throwing and outrage. I’ve always admired women who take charge and refuse to buckle under the pressure of those who try to shove them into a tiny box of acceptable behavior. Why must a woman hide her sexuality behind closed doors while a man can flaunt it without repercussions?

Let’s dig deeper into this notion of sexual expression, shall we? In a country that claims to champion freedom and equality, it’s baffling how a woman’s autonomy over her body can still be seen as something scandalous. We have centuries of societal conditioning that dictate what a “proper” woman should look like, act like, and express. Men, on the other hand, can swagger through life like they own the damn place, and we’re expected to applaud. This disparity is not just a minor inconvenience; it’s a glaring reflection of a deeply embedded double standard that needs to be dismantled.

Our society wouldn’t be where it is today without fearless radicals who’ve dared to challenge the status quo and question what’s deemed “proper.” There should be no shame in sex, period. No one should ever have to concede to shame, let alone apologize for expressing their sexuality. Just because someone has different preferences than you doesn’t make them any less worthy. A woman’s role in society is not set in stone. Where’s the real freedom when society starts policing values based on outdated standards? What about respecting a woman’s right to act as she sees fit? You can’t stifle someone’s innate individuality just because it makes you uncomfortable. If you can’t handle it, go sulk in your corner and be offended. You champion your values best by living them, not by attacking those who don’t align with yours. Trust me, your disgust could be better directed elsewhere. Live and let live.

If you’re so wrapped up in your own moral outrage, you’re missing the point entirely. The real issue isn’t Miley’s performance; it’s what it reveals about our collective discomfort with women owning their sexuality. So while you clutch your pearls and lament the decline of decency, take a moment to consider this: maybe it’s time to redefine what “decency” really means. In a world where women are still fighting for the right to express themselves freely, perhaps we should celebrate their boldness instead of shaming them into silence. After all, progress is born from discomfort, and if Miley’s performance made you squirm, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. After all, Miley can’t stop, won’t stop, etc. So really, it’s your loss, not hers.